Faith 2.0 Trusting the Ground that Shakes

Last Sunday, while many of you were here during the Sunday service, I was holding Emily's hand in an emergency room. She was curled up in pain level 9 out of 10—and I was watching the monitors, listening to the beeping, feeling utterly helpless. Then, from down the hall, I heard laughter. Pure, unexpected laughter.

My first thought was anger. How dare someone laugh when my world is falling apart? But then, something shifted. That laughter became the sound of life continuing, of love persisting, of the universe whispering, 'I'm still here.'

Have you ever had a moment when life knocked the wind out of you, and you had to decide what you really believe in? Not what sounds good on a Sunday morning, but what will hold you when you can't hold yourself?

A Heart Cracked Open

I stand before you today not with all the answers, but with a heart cracked open by love, fear, grief, and a fierce willingness to trust anyway. My beloved life partner, Emily, has been diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic and liver cancer. When something like this happens, it asks you to let go of who you thought you were and choose what you will believe in now. Not tomorrow. Not when things get better. Now.

When We Say We Have Faith, What Do We Mean?

When we say we have faith, what do we mean? Is it the kind of faith that only works when things go our way? Or is it the kind that lives in the marrow of our bones, the kind of faith that says, "Even this, too, belongs"? Faith 2.0 is not about certainty. It's trusting the groundlessness. It's choosing to stay when everything in you wants to run. Faith is creative; it's like spiritual electricity that animates and energizes. It constructs the bridge we walk across when everything else feels like it's falling away.

The Leonard Cohen Story

Leonard Cohen was staying in a hotel in Los Angeles during a minor earthquake. While other guests ran outside in panic, he sat calmly on his bed and said, 'Well, I guess even the earth is having a spiritual crisis.' When asked if he was scared, he replied, 'I've been shaking internally for years - it's nice to have the ground finally catch up with me.'

That's what I felt in that emergency room. The external chaos finally matched what I'd been feeling inside, and instead of more fear, I found a sense of presence. Connection. A strange kind of peace.

What Do I Believe In Now?

Faith 2.0 asks: What do I believe in now? Not what I was taught, but what will hold me when I can't hold myself? Emily's illness has become a spiritual initiation, revealing my shadows, my need to fix, my desire to control, and to fix my illusion that if I do everything right, bad things won't happen. But Life is not a transaction. Life is a mystery. And during the mystery, our faith is forged when we face challenges.

The Thich Nhat Hanh Story

Thich Nhat Hanh, the great Vietnamese Buddhist monk, was exiled from his homeland during the Vietnam War. He lost his country, his spiritual community, and the land that nourished his roots. Yet in the silence of exile, he turned to the breath. He said, "People usually consider walking on water or in thin air a miracle. But I think the real miracle is not to walk on water, but to walk on Earth." The miracle is to walk here, now, fully present with whatever is. Thich Nhat Hanh didn't have certainty. He had presence. As Rumi said, "Try not to resist the changes that come your way. Instead, let life live through you."

Tina Fey's Prayer to the Universe

Tina Fey once joked that before auditions and live shows, she would pray: "Dear God, please don't let me mess this up. But if I do, please let it be funny." Her faith wasn't in perfection but in her ability to recover, laugh, and keep going.

Faith 2.0 takeaway: True faith isn't about having it all together, it's about trusting that if we fall, we can fall into grace... or laughter.

Summary and Conclusion

Sometimes I imagine our faith like a lighthouse. Even when the fog is thick, that light still turns. It doesn't remove the storm, but it offers direction.

You don't have to have it all figured out. You must be willing. Willing to trust. Willing to open. Willing to believe in the love that never leaves.

This week, choose one moment each day to reaffirm your faith, not because life is easy, but because your soul is strong. Choose to believe in love again. Because this messy, sacred, heart-expanding journey is Faith 2.0. Not blind optimism. Not fragile hope. But a fierce, resilient, soul-tested belief that even here, especially here, love is present.