Let Them: Two Words That Will Set You Free

Reverend Blaine Tinsley
Jun 18
3 min read

Opening QuestionIf your mental energy were a bank account, how much did you spend this week investing in your own life, and how much went toward managing other people’s drama? Be honest. How many emotional dollars did you hand over to your partner’s quirks, your adult kid’s decisions, or that annoying coworker who still doesn’t know how to reply all? Let’s talk about it.

Your Spiritual Budget

We all wake up with a limited amount of energy—our spiritual budget. And then we go around spending it like it’s on fire… trying to manage people, fix situations, and micromanage the world. But what if I told you that freedom—yes, the deep, soul-satisfying kind—can start with just two words? “Let Them.”

Let them.

These two words are not a shrug. They’re a spiritual strategy. Today’s talk is based on Mel Robbins’ “The Let Them Theory,” and it is part one of a two-part series. We’re diving deep into control addiction, peace reclamation, and the powerful magic of letting go.

The Problem: Our Control Addiction

Let’s call it what it is: We’re control freaks. Not because we’re bad. Not because we’re bossy. But because we’re scared. Scared of what people will think. Scared someone we love will make a mistake. Scared that if we don’t hold it all together, it will all fall apart. But here’s the truth bomb: Trying to control others is just fear wearing a name tag that says “helpful.” We confuse love with micromanagement. But real love? Real love trusts.

The Dishwasher Story: When Control Hits the Kitchen

Mel Robbins tells a hilarious story. She spent years trying to get her husband to load the dishwasher the right way—meaning her way. She gave him tutorials, rearrangements, sighs, the whole thing. Sound familiar? One day, it clicked. This wasn’t about dishes. It was about control. So, she took a breath and said the magic words: “Let him.” Just like that, peace was restored. The dishwasher didn’t change. She did.

💵 The Cost of Control

So, what’s all this control costing you?

Your peace
Your joy
Your relationships
Your sleep
Your spiritual clarity

And the kicker? The more you try to control, the more out of control you feel. It’s like trying to catch a waterfall with a thimble.

The Solution: Let Them Grow Their Own Garden

“Let them” doesn’t mean you don’t care. It means you choose peace over panic. It’s the radical act of trusting others to walk their own path. Plant their own garden. Let them make mistakes. Let them wear Crocs. Let them vote differently. Let them be messy, weird, or wildly different from you. Because when you let them be them—you finally get to be you.

Red-Carpet Realness: The Magic of Letting Go

Mel tells another story, this one about taking her teenage daughter to a red-carpet event. Dream night, right? Except her daughter wasn’t into it. Grumpy, moody, uncooperative. Mel tried everything to fix the moment—until she stopped. Took a breath. And said, “Let her.” Let her be 15. Let her be moody. And guess what? The moment shifted. Laughter returned. Not because everything was perfect, but because control had left the room.

The Power of Two Simple Words

“Let them” is a spiritual circuit breaker. The next time your inner control freak rears up, whisper it:

“Let them.” Let them talk too loudly. Let them mispronounce quinoa. Let them love who they love, live how they live, and learn the way we all do—by doing it their way.

What You Gain When You Let Them

Mental space
Emotional clarity
Better relationships
Inner peace
Creative energy
Personal confidence

Freedom doesn’t come from fixing others. It comes from letting go of the belief that you must.

Real-Life Applications

Let your sister homeschool.

Let your adult son take the long way around.

Let your coworker overshare.

Let them believe in the God of their choosing.

You are not the moral traffic cop for the universe.

🗓️ The 7-Day Challenge 🗓️

Here’s your invitation: This week, every time you feel the urge to fix, correct, or control someone, pause and say it: “Let them.” Track how often it happens, Journal about how it feels. Notice the shift in your energy.

Do Another Energy Audit

At the end of the week, ask: